Not Excited for Christmas this year (2010)
i always went to church, i thought going there every mass will ease the sadness i’m feeling everyday of my life now. it all started with when i loved someone i didn’t thought to love, maybe because i love all the things he have or maybe i think he’s the one for me. I never been so in love this way before, i don’t think of love before but this person change me a lot. I dont know how, but the things he change about me makes me feel more like a special person in his life. but until he tells me he’s going to leave, i dont know what to do when he tells that i want to cry all day long, but i cry almost a month every night in my bed and every shoulders of my friend was there when i felt crying. I wrote him a letter but i dont know how to bring it to him, because he dont want to see me anymore. Iv’e tried calling him a hundred times a day but still he let me die waiting for him to answer my calls. December 18,2010 11pm i went in front of his house, but still he doesn’t let me see him. i just want to talk to him that night just to clear everything. Because i feel so NOTHING in his life . When he came into my life he brings happiness but now when he’s going to leave me he brings me sadness i never felt before. I dont really know why he’s doing this to me, my friend told me things i want to believe but still i want to hear his side. He’s the most important thing happen to me this year (2010) i just want him to say thank you for coming into my life.
I miss this man. a special man that makes me laugh and cry.
Loving this man makes me forever happy.
this is why im not excited for Christmas, sorry Jesus! :(
